“Bisa Bawa Pacar Engga?” Sociological Analysis of Rules-Free and Strict-Rules Boarding Houses in Gorontalo

This research was based on the phenomenon of free sex behavior by students in their boarding houses, hence the existence of the term ‘rules-free’ and ‘strict-rules’ boarding houses. This phenomenon was interesting to study using the concept of behavior so that it can be understood sociologically how the two concepts of the boarding house are related. Grounded theory was used in this research in the hope that the construction of social control in the boarding house arises from the expressions and beliefs, experiences, feelings, and goals of the owner and the occupants. The results showed that students’ deviant behavior in the form of free sex was caused by four factors, namely the absence of enforcement of the rules in the boarding house by the owner, students’ weak self-control, the arrangement of boarding houses was hidden from society, and negative labelling formed by a stigma. This research concluded that self-control in a boarding house is not formed by awareness to uphold social norms, but is more prompted by one’s desire to avoid being embarrassed.


INTRODUCTION
Gorontalo City has several universities that are chosen by students from various regions. Students who come from different cities usually do not have a place to live and opt to stay in boarding houses provided by the community around the campus. Boarding houses are widely used as a place to live because many of them are just walking distance to campus, affordable, and practical. Also, students who come from distant areas will generally be far away from their families or relatives. Therefore, they live indepen-dently in boarding houses and tend to feel free in doing various activities.
Taken from online news media, free sex behavior that occurs in Gorontalo City is proven by the finding of three nasty couples who were caught half-naked in a boarding house during Operasi Penyakit Masyarakat (Perkat) by the East City Police with the Dondick W. Wiroto, et al, x "Bisa Bawa Pacar Engga?" Sociological Analysis of Rules-Free and ...
This topic is interesting to investigate because in 2018, when conducting the initial research with seven owners of student boarding houses, four of them refused to be asked for further information when the researcher stated the purpose of the interview to find a portrayal of student life in boarding house. They immediately asked the researcher to find another boarding house to be the object of research. The four boarding house owners indeed have the stigma of being boarding houses that allow students to bring boyfriends. In contrast, the other three boarding house owners were very open to being interviewed, and their boarding houses were known for having strict rules in accepting friends of the opposite sex.
The things that have been explained above give the researchers the idea that the community must know the social context that occurs regarding the concept of boarding houses that are free and strict in Gorontalo City. Sociology is very useful in this research because it can provide knowledge to the public that a boarding house is a place which concept does not only include room rental business for students, but also a place that has a social conception that is determined by social relations between various social actors (government, boarding house owners, and students). Sociological concepts used in this research are 1) the concept of deviant behavior, used because the boyfriends of the boarding house residents are free to go to the boarding house occupants' room, but local government regulations and culture see this as a negative thing so that the boarding house owner is reluctant to comment on this; and 2) the concept of control, developed by boarding house owners who forbid the free behavior of boarding students to bring boyfriends or friends of the opposite sex into their rooms. The urgency of this research is for the public to understand that the maintenance and management of boarding houses are closely related to community norms and values. Thus, two dichotomies of boarding houses will emerge, namely strict-rules boarding houses as boarding houses that enforce the norms and values of a society in the use of rooms by students, and rules-free boarding houses as the opposite.

Sociological approach in issues of social control in boarding houses
Research results on student sexual behavior showed that students' free sex behavior was still considered wrong behavior because it was against the norms prevailing in society (Salisa, 2010;Arviyah, 2012;Kasmawati, 2014;Putra, 2014;and Hamzah, 2015). The norms that may be violated by the students' free behavior include religious norms, customary norms, norms of morality, and legal norms (Dhohiri, 2007). If all members of society obey these norms and rules, people's lives will be safe and peaceful. However, in reality, some of the community members have committed violations of these norms and rules. Violation of the norms and rules that apply in society is known as social deviation (Susanti & Handoyo, 2015).
Gorontalo City has a vision of a SMART City (Sejahtera, Maju, Aktif, Relijius, dan Terdidik) which can be considered the social values of the people of Gorontalo City (Gorontalo City Government, 2016). Religiosity is one of the values that is considered important because as a city where the majority of the population is Muslim, the customs in Gorontalo are always associated with Islamic religious practices so that social interactions and people's daily lifestyles are strongly influenced by Islamic symbols. Basri Amin explained that Islamization in Gorontalo has succeeded in creating a balanced understanding between local identity (custom) and religious references (Islam) in everyday life (Ladiqi, Wekke, and Seftyono, 2017). These values and norms illustrate that free sex behavior is a behavior that violates the rules of the Islamic religion because, in Islam, free sex behavior is considered adultery and disobedient to Allah's decrees to its servants as stated in the holy book Al Qur "an and the Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad shallallahu'alaihi wasallam. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said in the Al Qur'an surah Al Isra verse 32: "And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way." Prophet Muhammad shallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam said in the saheeh hadith narrated by Imam Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu›anhu: "Allah has written for the son of Adam his inevitable share of adultery whether he is aware of it or not: The adultery of the eye is the looking (at something which is sinful to look at), and the adultery of the tongue is to utter (what it is unlawful to utter), and the adultery of the hand is the lustful grip (embrace) and the adultery of the feet is to walk (to the place) where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires which he may or may not put into effect." Clinard and Meier (2010) stated that deviant behavior is defined based on four different points of view, namely statistical, absolutist, reactive, and normative. Students' free sex behavior can be categorized as a reactive and normative point of view. Normative illustrates that deviations are a violation of norms, while reactive emphasize that deviations are anything that makes someone react to things that are labeled as deviations. Boarding students who continue to bring their boyfriends freely to their boarding house will result in labeling the boarding house as a rules-free boarding house as a form of student reaction, and the community in determining the boarding house as a place where a student can freely engage in deviant behavior and violate norms.
The existence of student boarding houses that have strict rules regarding the use of boarding rooms for their residents can be considered as a reaction to some boarding houses that are labeled by the community as boarding houses that do not prohibit and allow free sex behavior. This reaction takes the form of control by the boarding house owner towards boarding students. This form of reaction indicates that social deviations serve to clarify moral boundaries, enforce norms, and promote social unity (Henslin 2007). This means that, practically, the owner of the strict-rules boarding house will uphold the norms and values of the Islamic religion in Gorontalo by limiting the use of boarding rooms and forming social cohesion between themselves and the students who rent their boarding houses in maintaining and enforcing boarding rules.
The point of view of this reactive and normative definition assumes that people who behave defiantly are those who have low self-control. Several factors which cause low self-control, include (1) inadequate attachment, especially for parents and schools; (2) lack of commitment, especially for the success of education and work; (3) lack of involvement in common activities, such as sports and scouting associations; and (4) insufficient belief, especially in the legitimacy and morality of law (Bohm and Vogel, 2011). However, the conceptual framework that causes this weak self-control does not explain whether a boarding house is labeled as a rules-free boarding house because of the low formal activity of its residents or other factors. A further study weakened these causal factors because according to the research, the factors that influence premarital sex behavior among students are, (1) there are no relation between knowledge, attitudes, understanding of religion, understanding of norms in society, economic status (pocket money), the environment in which they live, the role of parents, and leisure time activities with premarital sex behavior, (2) there is a relationship between residence status, exposure to pornography, and peer roles with premarital sex behavior (Lestari, Fibriana, and Prameswari, 2014).
Boarding house owners who enforce boarding house rules will have better communication with boarding students. It is because students need good guidelines to form good attitudes and behaviors in the process of completing their studies (Hermil, 2017) and getting along with the surroun-ding community (Budi, 2005). If a boarding house has no policy, or even though te policies exist but are not enforced, then the interaction between the two parties tends to be lacking or even non-existent. Social interactions will run in an orderly manner if individuals in society can act according to their social context, namely actions that are adapted to the current social situation, do not conflict with prevailing norms, and aligned with their position in society (Lestari, 2013). Interactions that comply with norms will provide a feeling of fulfilling psychological needs, such as calm, avoiding feelings of fear, and isolation (Ariyani, 2013).
Social control in a boarding house can be persuasive and coercive. The characteristics of social control include 1) preventive, so that social behavior can be under control and social life remains conducive; 2) repressive, the aim is to restore the disorganized social conditions by deviant social behavior so that a normal social situation can be restored; and 3) combined social control (preventive and repressive) (Setiadi and Kolip, 2011). Boarding houses that have enforcement of boarding house rules are assumed to use the combined type of social control because firm action on violations also functions to rearrange existing rules so that life in the boarding houses remains conducive to students and the surrounding community.
The conceptual explanation of social control in this student boarding house is incompatible with several concepts of social control in the sociology discipline. For example, according to Peter L. Berger, social control is defined as the various methods used by society to curb disobedient members of society (Sunarto, 2004). On the other hand, Joseph S. Roucek argued that social control is things that include all social values, whether planned or not, which are educational, inviting, or even forcing people to comply with prevailing social principles and values (Yani 2015). Furthermore, Walter Reckless emphasized that the goal of social control is to curb people's motivation to deviate through inner control and external control (Henslin 2007). The similarity bet-ween the concepts of Berger, Roucek, and Reckless is how social control is considered a formal mechanism that has been planned so that public order and compliance are always maintained. Therefore, social control in a boarding house may be enforced through persuasive interaction and communication through informal relationships between the boarding house owner and boarding house occupants.
Therefore, this research, through the grounded theory method, will find a new and different definition of social control from the definition given by the functional approach. This study sees that social control can also be formed through a symbolic interactionism approach that occurs in micro social interactions involving the feelings of actors with societal norms and views.

METHODS
This research has two research focuses, namely deviant behavior in the form of free sex and social control in a boarding house. However, in answering the concepts of a rules-free boarding house and strict-rules boarding house, researchers explored more about the problem of social control in the boarding house. To achieve the objectives and urgency of this study, grounded theory research methods were employed because this research was skeptical of sociological concepts about social control. Grounded theory was used so that this research could produce the concept of social control that came from the data taken through observation and interviews. Therefore, the construction of the understanding of social control in the boarding house emerged from the expression and understanding of the beliefs, experiences, feelings, and intentions of the boarding house owners and boarding students. The goal was to achieve the objectives of qualitative research as stated by the experts, namely Corbin and Strauss (2008) who stated that the description in the results of the research must be detailed and the reader can still understand the meaning conveyed, which can only be formed through the depth of the researcher's response to the data collected.

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There are two criteria for boarding houses that the researcher determined in this study to discover out about free sex behavior by boarding students and social control by boarding house owners, namely a) Rules-free Boarding House, in which there are social deviations, especially free sex. The first criterion included boarding houses that have regulations but are not obeyed and enforced so that social deviation still occurs; b) Strict-rules Boarding House which has rules that are obeyed and enforced so that no social deviation occurs in them. For the name of the boarding house, the researcher only mentioned the initial names to maintain the identity of the boarding house to be studied so as not to cause harm to the party being studied. For more details, see the following table.
The informants of this study consisted of boarding students and owners of strict-rules boarding houses, which were determined through purposive and snowball sampling techniques. The criteria for students who become informants were students who were actively studying, students who lived in boarding houses in Gorontalo City, students who lived in strict-rules boarding houses, and students who engaged in deviant behavior in the form of free sex in rules-free boarding houses. The first student informant of free sex offenders was a fellow researcher, with their help, the re-searcher obtained student informants of other free sex actors. In this study, student informants who engaged in free sex were mentioned using initials, while student informants who lived in strict-rules boarding houses used pseudonyms. The owners of the boarding houses who were willing to be interviewed were the owners of the boarding houses Miyawi, Jamal, and Ramayana, while the other two refused because of their busy schedules. The data collection was obtained through observation and interviews that took place in an informal setting and unstructured conversations. The approach to informants with the help of friends then develops and creates new friendships so that they can feel more relaxed in explaining their experiences, especially student informants who are free sex actors. The researcher the conversation recorded several times without

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Students' Self-Control and the Labeling of "Rules-free Boarding House" The practice of free sex that occurs in boarding houses in Gorontalo City often occurs at night, especially on Thursday nights and Sunday nights. However, during the day, it does not rule out casual sex behavior. From the researcher's experience when visiting the boarding house in the city of Gorontalo, it was found several times that students brought their partners to the boarding house. Also, researchers have encountered students who were alone with the opposite sex in the boarding house where he/she was staying and doing things that lead to free sex behavior, such as hugging and bakurung (bringing a partner into a room with the door closed).
Boarding houses A to F is boarding houses chosen by six students who want to seek the freedom to bring the opposite sex into their room without being restricted by the boarding house owner or their fellow boarding student. Their statements in the interviews confirmed that this was chosen because of their need to fulfill their sexual desires, despite different levels of sexual satisfaction behavior. Furthermore, Raharjo (2008) established that forms of sexual behavior that occur among students include attraction to the opposite sex, kissing -ranging from light kissing to deep kissing, kissing the area around the partner's neck, petting or all forms of physical sexual contact but does not include intercourse, whether it is light petting (touching the breasts and other genitals) or hard petting (rubbing one's genitals against the partner's genitals, either dressed or naked), to intercourse or penetration of the genitals.
The level of sexual satisfaction behavior of the students who live in the boarding house varies according to the condition of their boarding house. This can be seen in the descriptions of the results of observations and interviews in the following table.
The data illustrated that the occurrence of deviant behavior in the form of free sex is a fact. However, this fact must be understood in detail because the level of deviant behavior varies. MN and DA were students who have the highest level of deviation in the boarding house, followed by IR and AI, while the lowest is LS and RB. The degree of this deviation varies because their self-control is influenced by the other party's control of free sex behavior in the boarding house.
On the deviation behavior of MN and DA, it is clear that there is no control from other parties on free sex behavior in the boarding house. Even though in MN's place there is a boarding house owner, he/

Table 7. Observation of Environmental Conditions and Control in Rules-free Boarding Houses
Initial The condition of the boarding house MN Boarding A: 8 rooms; the occupants for the rooms are male and female students (mixed); the building used as a boarding house is an ordinary house in which there are dividers for the walls of the rooms; the rooms are in the house (not directly visible to the public); owners and occupants of boarding houses do not prohibit people from bringing the opposite sex into the room.

AI
Boarding B: the occupant of the boarding house is AI's boyfriend; total 24 rooms; male students only; the boarding house cannot be seen directly by outsiders because it is blocked by the large wall of the boarding house; AI saw many other tenants also bring partners of the opposite sex to the room.

LS
Boarding C: 81 rooms; room tenants are only female students; is a large building consisting of 2 levels; the boarding house building is behind the owner's house so that the view of the boarding house is partially obstructed for outsiders; although there are rules for visiting until 11 pm, boyfriends can stay until later than 11 pm.

RB
Boarding House D: located in a densely populated location compared to other boarding houses; room occupants are male and female students (mixed); the building used as a boarding house is an ordinary house in which there are many rooms; the owner of the boarding house does not live in the boarding house environment; boarding house occupants are free to bring a partner and gather to drink liquor on condition that they must maintain the atmosphere to stay good.

IR
Boarding E: 15 rooms; located in a densely populated location compared to other boarding houses; room tenants are male and female students (mixed); it is common to bring a opposite sex into the room.

DA
Boarding F: total 6 rooms; male students only; the building used as a boarding house is an ordinary house in which there are many rooms; there is no owner who lives there, so the boarding house is managed by boarding students; girlfriend can stay overnight.
she doesn't care. This showed that the presence or absence of a boarding house owner did not have any effect. Furthermore, their rooms are inside the building, so residents cannot see their activities directly from outside the boarding house. IR and AI can also conduct free sex behavior in the boarding house because the door to their room is blocked by the building and cannot be seen by outsiders, and IR's boarding house is occupied by male and female students. Even though LS does not conduct free sex at her boarding house, she is still free to bring the opposite sex to her boarding house, and her boyfriend is allowed to exceed the visiting time at 10 PM. On the other hand, RB explained that his boarding house allows the occupants to engage in free sex activities. However, he was reluctant to explain to researchers whether or not he had free sex in the boarding house.
The results of this study indicated that the vulnerability of boarding house owner control, rules enforced in boarding rules, the location and arrangement of boarding houses that are hidden from the community plays a major role in making students lose self-control from engaging in free sex activities. Internally, their self-control is low because they want to express their relationship with the opposite sex (dating) and they are easily carried away by the social styles that exist in the boarding house. Meanwhile, the labeling of free boarding houses was not caused by the outside community. As in the case of boarding house F, this labeling occurs because of the stigma that develops in society, such as the label of 'sex criminals' who are believed to behave that way. It means that the stigma of a rules-free boarding house is initiated by the free behavior of the students -where the status of the students written and unwritten values and norms, especially in the boarding house. Moreover, social control can reduce the frequency of deviations that can occur. The establishment of social control in the boarding house arose as a reaction to deviant behavior in the form of free sex, which is contrary to social values and norms in Gorontalo. The reactive in this case, are boarding house owners and students where they make and enforce rules so that boarding houses are not exposed to free sex behavior from boarding students. In the table below, several interview excerpts described their reactions to students' free sex activity.
themselves is still a minority because they are still dependent on their parents -in society. Therefore, free sex behavior is considered as an irresponsible behavior that is performed continuously in the boarding house, giving rise to the labeling of rulesfree boarding houses.

Formation and Types of Social Control in Strict-rules Boarding House
Self-control is necessary so that the perpetrators of social deviations can return to comply with the prevailing norms. The existence of social control is expected to be able to help the community to practice all Dulu di kos ini bukan hanya wanita saja yang menempatinya, tetapi ada juga laki-laki. Dari situ saya merasa selalu khawatir dengan aktivitas mereka, terlebih pada saat saya tidak mengawasi mereka, apalagi jaman sekarang banyak yang anak-anak muda yang melakukan perzinahan. Saya tidak ingin itu terjadi di lingkungan kos saya. Oleh sebab itu saya sekarang menerapkan aturan yang ketat dan hanya menerima penyewa kos wanita. In the past, it was not only women who lived in this boarding house, but also men. From there I feel always worried about their activities, especially when I don't supervise them, especially nowadays many young people commit adultery. I don't want that to happen in my boarding house. That's why I now apply strict rules and only accept female renters.
If, for example, there were a lot of bad behavior in this boarding house, it would definitely disturb the people around here. It was not only the boarding house tenants who were affected, but I was also affected. Last year I once found one of the residents of the boarding house who dared to bring his girlfriend into the room (Bakurung). Obviously I was mad at him but I didn't kick him out right away. I have created a WA (Whatsapp) group for all boarding students here. Usually if someone is caught breaking the rules, their name will be bad-mouthed in the WA group. The group is also often used by boarding students to report if there are problems.

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The social control that is conducted, both by owners and occupants of boarding houses in Gorontalo City, turns out to be effective in suppressing social deviations that occur, either utilizing preventive, repressive or a combination of the two social control measures. In the table below, there are types of social control efforts in five strict-rules boarding houses that are the object of research.
These data showed that social deviation should function as described by Henslin (2007), which were to clarify moral boundaries, enforce norms, and promote social unity. The boarding house owner can enforce norms because of their assertiveness and the support of boarding students who agree with the rules. In the end, there is a unity in the boarding house between the owner and the occupants of the boarding house in maintaining the strength of the existing rules, as happened in boarding houses Putra and Jamal.

Social Control in Boarding Houses as an Application of Feeling Shame without Feeling Proud
The deviant behavior in the form of free sex by students violates the prevailing norms in Gorontalo, especially Islamic religious norms and customary norms. Custom, in Gorontalo, is a custom that cannot be abandoned because the core of these customs is religious teachings. Therefore, when Go-Ka" Elmi (owner of Ramayana Boarding House) Tentu saya memberitahukan terlebih dahulu tentang peraturan kos kepada anak-anak yang akan tinggal di sini. Pelanggaran juga pernah saya dapati dan langsung saya tindaki. Kemarin-kemarin saya dapat laporan dari anak kos katanya ada anak kos di sini yang diam-diam membawa pacarnya kedalam kamar. Saya langsung menanyakan hal tersebut kepada yang bersangkutan dan dia mengakui kesalahannya. Setelah itu, saya langsung mempersilahkan dia untuk pindah dari sini.
Of course, I informed the students about the boarding rules in advance who would live here. I have also encountered violations and immediately acted on them. Yesterday I received a report from the boarding students that said there was a boarding student here who secretly brought his girlfriend into the room. I immediately asked the person concerned and he admitted his mistake. After that, I immediately invited him to move from here. Rahmad dan Andi (Resident of Putra Boarding House) Kami tidak pernah memberitahu terlebih dahulu kepada penyewa kos lainnya soal peraturan. Namun kami hanya menegur jika ada penyimpangan yang terjadi. Biasanya kami langsung terang-terangan menegurnya di hadapan penyewa kos lainnya. Meskipun masih ada yang tidak mendengarkan kami, kami juga tidak berhenti untuk terus mengingatkan.Pernah ada penyewa yang sering membawa pacranya ke dalam kamar. Kami selalu menjumpainya dan mengingatkan pada setiap ia membawa pacranya ke sini agar tidak melakukan hal itu. Dia juga pernah emosi saat kami ingatkan. Sampai akhirnya ia pindah.
We never notify other tenants of the rules in advance. However, we only rebuke if there are deviations that occur. Usually we openly reprimand him in front of the other tenants. Even though there are still people who don't listen to us, we don't stop reminding them either. There was once a tenant who often brought his girlfriend into the room. We always see him and remind him every time he brings his girlfriend here, not to do that. He was also emotional when we reminded him. In the end he moved from here. rontalo people leave their customs, it means that they have left their religious teachings. The source of the customary values of the Gorontalo community administrators is encapsulated in a local ideology which reads Adati hula-hula'a to sara'a, Sara'a hulahula'a to Quru'ani (traditional jointed with sharia, shari›a jointed with the Koran). The firmness of the attitude of the Gorontalo people is based on the firmness of good morals (Mashadi, 2012).
Based on the data of the research, social control in boarding houses is not directly based on these norms. Like the Lurah Regulation (Number: 300 / Pem. Trantibum-KDT / 129 / XII / 2017), which was posted on the wall of the Ramayana boarding house, only stated that the orderliness of boarding houses by the Mayor is a response to complaints from the community. There is no explicit mention that these regulations are an effort to enforce Islamic religious norms and customary norms. The interview data only showed the concern of boarding house owners and some students about free sex activities that could occur in their place.
The strict-rules boarding house with its control instruments provides an understanding of the enforcement of religious and customary norms against deviant behavior in the form of free sex in a boarding house in Gorontalo City. This is described by Cristina Bicchieri, that to identify norms, we need to establish a consensus about what actions are appropriate/inappropriate in any situation (Bicchieri, 2017: 74). However, she further explained that the norm of togetherness is not necessarily a social norm. Social norms (ibid: 58-59), are norms built from normative and empirical expectations or expectations needed to motivate action, which means that if social expectations are only empirical, then these are only descriptive norms, not social norms. The existence of social control instruments in boarding houses, is strictly intended so that boarding house occupants do not violate the rules that have been invented (empirical expectations) and believe that following the existing boarding house rules will have a good This explanation confirms that religious norms and customary norms are not social norms, but are merely descriptions so that Gorontalo citizens have good behavior.
The researcher's analysis of the feeling of worry of the owner of this strict-rules boarding house is that social control in the boarding house occurs because of the anticipation of the boarding house owner and some occupants from an embarrassing state if deviant behavior in the form of free sex occurs in their place. To understand this, the researcher used a sociology of emotion thought frame developed by Thomas Scheff. According to Thomas Scheff, everything that unites humans and causes social conflict is social bonds. However, nowadays, these social ties are weakened due to modernization, which makes humans feel self-sufficient (individualism). For example, money earned by one's hard work to satisfy one's desires, a position achieved due to one's ability to improve one's self-image in the eyes of others, and marriage, which is considered n acknowledgment of self-success in the eyes of many people to keep personal wealth. This individualism makes humans ignore consensus (a concept that causes social ties to occur cognitively) and hides the feelings that cause social bonds to be maintained (Scheff, 2009). In essence, humans no longer feel inadequate even without secured social ties.
How is the strength of social ties that occur in tight boarding houses in Gorontalo City? Several pieces of literature show that boarding house owners who enforce the rules in their boarding houses will have better communication with their boarding house occupants because students need good guidance to form good attitudes and behavior in the process of completing their studies (Hermil, 2017) and get along with the surrounding community (Budi, 2005). All boarding houses stated that strict boarding rules are established to anticipate deviant behavior that can occur at any time. Their narrative regarding the rules was reflexively related to their unwillingness to the deviant behavior that plagued their boarding house occupants. However, the unwillingness of the owners and students is not merely a consensus to uphold social norms. Therefore, it cannot be said that the employment of this rule can be a guide to shaping the normative attitudes and behavior of students in undergoing the study period and interacting with the community.
The lack of social ties in strict-rules boarding house from the social consensus side has an explanation that the existing social ties are formed from certain feelings. According to Thomas Scheff (2009), fee-

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lings that emphasize social ties are feelings of pride and shame. In strict-rules boarding houses, social bonds between occupants are formed more because of motivation by feelings of shame. For boarding house owners, the rules that are implemented exist to express the shame they want to hide because they do not want to find themselves in a state of shame or humiliation by others since the boarding house they own is considered a place that allows its occupants to have free sex. Likewise, for boarding students, obeying the boarding house rules is meant to express the shame they want to hide since they do not want to find themselves in a state of shame or humiliation by others because they are known as students who engage in casual sex. This shows that social control in the boarding house is an application of shame, which is imagined to be fatal to their relationship with the community without any sense of pride because through enforcing boarding rules, they have upheld Islamic religious norms and Gorontalo customary norms.
In contrast, in a rules-free boarding house, the occurrence of free sex can be considered as an application of showing their pride without any shame in forming social bonds between the residents of the boarding house. The sense of pride that emerges, for example, is like supporting each other in engaging in deviant behavior and it could be that they agree with the norms of freedom, even one of the boarding houses is proud of the act of free sex by calling each other 'sex criminals' among fellow boarding house occupants. In their social ties, they have no shame because they prefer not to mind it if they get a negative stigma by living in a rules-free boarding house, compared to adapting to the rules of a strict-rules boarding house, or in the house of someone who still has family relations with them.

CONCLUSION
The deviant behavior in the form of free sex that occurs in several student boarding houses is caused by several factors, such as the absence of enforcement of rules in boarding houses by the boarding house owners, weak student self-control, the arrangement of boarding houses that are hidden from society, and the negative stigma that is considered as an achievement. Boarding houses that allow free sex is stigmatized as rules-free boarding houses by society. This has prompted several other boarding houses to implement rules so that their boarding houses can avoid deviant behavior in the form of free sex by students and do not get the stigma of rules-free boarding. These facts about social control in this boarding house redefines the concept of social control, namely social control, prevention, and control mechanism conducted by individuals or groups in their area as an action that arises because of high respect for prevailing norms and anticipation of the development of deviant behavior that can invade the area. The definition of this new control concept is almost the same as the concept of organic social control (Innes, 2003). Unfortunately, the concept of social control cannot be fully implemented in the phenomenon of social control in strictrules boarding houses in Gorontalo City because the social control that is formed is not based on a high respect for Islamic religious norms and customary norms in Gorontalo.
In practice, this study confirms that norms play an important role in the establishment of social control in society. The community can establish and run social consensus naturally to enforce norms through social control (as happened in Putra boarding house phenomenon), which is executed communicatively and persuasively and avoids being persecuted. For this to happen, a clear legal procedure from the government as a policymaker is needed, which is not only based on public reports of deviant behavior, delinquency, and crime in an area but is based more on the norms prevailing in that said area. This norm strengthening program is not automatically realized by establishing legal procedures, but socially it is also formed through social programs that strengthen cohesiveness between communities in society (Sutiyo et al., 2018). In this case, these social programs are performed by students and the community so that the UNNES JOURNALS roles and actions of students can be better monitored by the general public.
This study opens discourse for researchers from social science disciplines in general, that research on the community must be maintained because, in principle, the phenomenon that occur in society will influence people's daily lives and the social unit closest to everyday life is community and family. As for the discipline of sociology, this study contributes to the discourse that social phenomena related to feelings can be investigated by sociology because this indicates the existence of social bonds, which are the basis of interaction and social order. The limitation of this study is that there is no deepening of the concept of self-control of students from the factors of formal social activities they do so that it is specifically still open for further research that wants to explore the problem of student deviant behavior.